Final Note...

Before emerging a new phase of life, I have decided to close down this blog, and to leave everything behind and start all over again. Hence it helped me to expressed my thoughts and anger (more like), it definitely generates more misunderstanding with everyone. I am not good in clearing the air and never been bothered to clear the air. I always believed in "truth is out there" theory, so I never bothered to strengthen other's thinking. And still in this final post before I announce the end of its journey, I won't be clearing all the misunderstandings!!! So I all wanted to say, through out the entire year. I never felt really happy before, I was depressed and still depressed because I have a mountain high of issues to deal with where it already taken its toll. I can't handle it, but I still I NEED to handle. More so I have no one to guide through those stuff, I can't runaway from it but to dealt with it. The only moment that makes me happy is when I'm thinking of leaving this country and to be all on my own. No one will ever understands or willing to put themselves into my shoes to see and understand me. Yet still people just judge me for no reason and backstab me!!! I don't think is fair for me to just allow you all to slaughter me with all the misunderstanding which I vaguely explain the whole picture.

Okay there's nothing for me to say now!!! So Bye.

Dreams!!!

Normally my dreams are pretty lame, I always dreamed of food (i.e pasta, sushi, pizza and more), and I dreamed of very rare situations like, I would die in the mall, kena choke while I'm eating in some posh posh punya restaurant. I also dreamed of meeting some famous celebs in the plane or talking to some rich people (Prince William and Prince Harry) wtf hahaha!!!!

But yesterday, I dreamed of somebody that I used to scared of her abusive talks!!! (Long story) I dreamed of her!!! What is weird is she was very claim and weird (yeah weird is the word)!!! What I could remember from the dream was we were chatting along!!!! CHATTING!!!!! we were having lunch and we were talking about our works and jobs that we have done together!!!!

I'm really confused with this dream!!!! Can we actually talk to each other for what both of us had put ourselves through!!!!

U may think it's not weird!!! i think it's funny as I recalled she hates me!!!!

Another rant post!!!

Skip to the next blog if this offend you!!!!

I'm in a bad mood!!! When I said, I'm in a bad mood, I really mean it!!! My marketing plan takes forever for me to get it done!!! I got the feeling I might fail this time, as I'm not taking the subject seriously WTF!!!

On the lighter note, at least I got a reply from the scholarship board. The reply is to notify that they had received my crap essays and informing me that they will get back to me early JULY?!!! Yes July, as you all know me my level of patience are rather low. When this things occurred, I get frustrated. Ranting why the hell those people had to take so long to process things!!!! FML

Well at least, I have maple of time to negotiate with the goddess!!!! Jesus, Allah, whatever!!!
I Ji Hoong Chan will commit to my promise that I will talk to you everyday if I get this as a present from you for my 21st bday!!!! Please!!!!

Other than that, I can't wait for all my friends to come back!!!! I missed so so much!!! OMFG, it's been a year haven't actually talk to them properly as in face to face!!!! Than Jo is also coming back soon!!!!

Then, I'm applying Visa!!!! the scariest part and most tedious part of all!!! I hope it approved!!!

Lazy to rant now!!! bye

9 to 5

At one stage, I was dreaming to have a job that has heavy work load. And that works late at night just to be more mind driving!!!

However after some working experience and horror situation, I am now considering to look job that is 9- 5... Okay, don't judge me!!! If u haven't actually work before just don't have judge okay?!
Why I changed my mind?!!

Though having a job that is 9- 5, it's rather difficult to succeed or be famous. But it's definitely not as stressful as to compared to careers that has flexible working hours. When I said FLEXIBLE, it not what time you like to clock in and what time you like to pack your bags?!!!

Yes, it's typical!!! So what of being typical or ordinary? I don't need to be famous, I'm not hungry for fame definitely. All I want is to be NORMAL... Wake up go work, eat, gossip, and come back. Then watch tv and sleep. I don't want to receive calls mid night from office asking me things.

I know my limits in work. I think I'm the only person who can't pressure. I can prove it to you okay?!!! Once I was interning in HSBC and my job is very admin so it requires me to be as SYSTEMATIC as possible. End up I was admitted in the hospital... That shows I cannot take heavy job especially ADMINISTRATION work... I will get tension headache!!! No kidding okay... Only photostating makes my head spin like anything.

Then what point should I have?!!! hmmm?!!!

Ohh yeah the most important point, 9-5 job is so good untill I think I can do all the thing I want.... I would never miss any of my exercise class.... Because it ends at 5 SHARP!!! I can do yoga and be thin... I have MORE personal time!!!!

OK obviously I'm crapping right here!!! FML
BYE

Online Shopping

No matter how many times I remind myself or tell people that I shouldn't shop so much, at the end of the day i still spend... And I spent more I ever thought!!!

It's so easy to say than to actually do it!!! I've been so into this kinda form of shopping for a year!!! Yes A YEAR!!! And I think it's genius!!! Call me genius, I will now reveal how I shop without me myself physically go into the Shop to buy something!!!

Faster!!!!
.
..
...
...
Alright, no matter how I will also reveal...

So will just say it NOW!!!!


it's

ONLINE SHOPPING

I always feel proud of myself when I tell people that I shop online!!! haha WTH!!! Because people will give me all sorts of questions like.
Example:
"you not scared meh?"
"How you make your payment?"
" How you know more measure?"
" What if the owner don't deliver than how?"
AND MORE

Okay to answer all the questions...
At the very beginning, I quite skeptical with the blogshop because I'm new with this form of shopping. But as time goes, I have been doing it even more!!! I admit that I did buy stuff that I regret later or even I've met sellers whom don't deliver the item or not sure with their own products WTH... So now I always read the comments in the blog before I order and I will asked myself like over and over again whether I like the item or not. It's pretty annoying, I must say because it takes time and online items are limited. So when I decided to buy, it is sold out!!! There are girls are as desperate than me lol.

If the owner don't deliver the item, I will use my bitch ability to bitch about the blogshop. Once I told a few blog owners and all the buyers the experience that I had with xx blogshop. Don't blame me!!! I just can't stand why do people can cheat someone's money like that!!!....

With the measurement question. I'm not angry with this question at all.. Despite of my size concern... I'm absolutely honest with my size!!! Because I'm paying it WTH, so why should I lie to myself by purchasing smaller size to myself... Honesty is key in online shopping!!!! That's why in my email or order, I describe to the owner if they didnt indicate properly.

I will write like that!!!
I'm very fat(size??), can I wear this dress/top or pants... tada!!!

I always rely on UK size chart, because I know my size very well. If you have no idea what size suits you best... Go dorothy perkins or top shop or any other shops that have UK size. Because most of the blogshop use UK size as their measurement.

As for shoes... hah another thing that I want to highlight or praise myself. I'm absolutey 90% sure what is my size. Why I say 90%? U know there are still small cutting shoes. I bought 3 pairs of shoes so far, and the result is one word to describe GOOD!!! Except only one of the pair is too big for me (bloody hell). But the others are so fantastic!!! I love them, and i'm considering taking them with to the UK. (it's sandals you know) I love them.... so for shoes it's all about measurement!!!!! get your right measurement from vincci, if you dont know what is your size.

Second last part of this entry... I have to say is Budget.... you have to Budget yourself. I used to budget myself with 50 ringgit. Considering the fact it's ONLINE SHOPPING!!! There's risk in it, it's something like insurance theory...

The more you pay, the more you lost!!!! what if u cant fit the item? what if the bloody seller dont deliver to you? So it's better to budget yourself. Although I dont really stick with the budget. hahaha

The last bit... Bank in the money!!! It's the most idiotic way to pay!!! the process it's so mafan!!! well this goes when you got the bank in details then park your car and bank in!!!

Shall I blog about how I bluff my mom when I received my shopping goods?
I think I will blog about it on the following post entry!!!!

(no idea why I have the urged to blog)

Permenant by David Cook!!!

I almost teared when I heard this song last night while watching the American Idol finale... I hope you watch this...

Permanent

Is this the moment where i look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you`ll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change even if i tell you i won`t go away today
Will you think that you`re all alone
When no one`s there to hold your hand?
And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary rest your head
I`m permanent

I know he`s living in hell every single day
And so i ask oh god is there some way for me to take his place
And when they say it`s all touch and go i wish i could make it go away
But still you say
Will you think that you`re all alone when no one`s there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head
I`m permanent
I`m permanent

Is the moment where i look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you`ll never see me cry!!!

if decision wasnt like this

It's been almost 1 yr I official unschooled and lazed at home do nothing. Today while throwing away all my old shoes and thinking on how to write a decent piece of essay, it suddenly struck me that I have been living a life like this!!!

Now, I thinking if I am little bit more selfish and stubborn. What I will be experiencing now?! I think I'll be in UK with my brother attending class as a FDA student in Advertising and Marketing. I wont be going through what I have been gone through!!! A life that is hard to describe!!! I did internship in HSBC but I did badly despite of some issues going on (I dont want to disclose). I let people down, where they had high hopes in me. My self esteem is damaged from the internship. I am job-less and not attending any proper course. With all these, I have been quite anti-social, losing all my friends because they are in overseas doing what they want and I'm stucked here doing nothing than to wait for my turn to go...

(Out of topic)

Or isnt it I'm too stubborn to the point I'm willing to waste and expence to get in to the uni. that I rather mold at home doing nothing?!!! There are loads of people who asked me to give up and stay put in Malaysia. But I refused, I want to have a fair share with my siblings get to go overseas to study to mix around, to step out of my comfort zone!!!

I know what you are thinking in your mind now!!! U must be thinking I'm too snobish that I think Malaysia's education not that good isnt it?!!! Now I answer you this!! Yes, I think so!!! But it's not the theory part or quality of lecturers that matters. It's because of the EXPOSURE in Malaysia is limited!!! Because we don't practise the way it should be!!! Is okay to take your course here but not mine!!! So please just stop asking me to give up on pursuing me degree in UK!!! If you are thinking that I made the wrong choice of going to UK to what I'm doing? I can answer you now!!! Because my parents can't afford to pay my education in the States!!! I can't be expecting them to spend all their expense on me and not taking care of themselves!!! When my mom said to me that she had to take all her EPF money to pay for my tuition fees, my heart arched tremendously!!! Because I'm scared that if dont succeed in the future, then how?!!! I had this trememdous baggage on my shoulder now!!! U get me!!! That's why I'm hungry for a scholarship now!!!